Sea Green
by Theatregirl7
Summary: "For the most part our relationship has been purely platonic. There have only been those few and far between moments. A hand clasping mine, squeezing it in comfort. A kiss, lingering on my lips in the dead of night." Johanna can't let him go.


I watch his sea green eyes dance with happiness from across the room. He's looking dashing as always, even though the suit was not originally designed for him. His bronze hair sweeps across his forehead and brushes against his eyebrows, and a playful grin is stretched across his face. The way he looks at her, like she's all he'll ever need, sends jealously boiling through my veins.

I move my gaze towards Annie, who's sitting beside him, clasping his hand. She's a gorgeous bride. Her eyes are vacant but happy, although everyone can tell she's never really all there. Her dark curly locks hang loose around her face. Content is etched into her features, the smile causing crinkles to form beside her dark green eyes. She's absolutely beautiful, and I can see why Finnick fell hard for her.

The pain strikes at me unexpectedly, rearing its ugly head at the worst time. Maybe it's because I'm finally seeing it, the love so strong between them. I think bitterly to myself, _he loves __**her**__. He will never love you._

I blink back my tears and reprimand myself. _You are Johanna Mason. You do not let anyone see you cry.  
_  
My eyes remain trained on them but my ears pick up numerous things. The wedding guests are all exchanging laughter, the first glimpses of happiness in weeks, months, years even for the original citizens of 13. Rage flares through me. How can they all be so at ease when I'm in so much pain?

I find myself cursing Finnick Odair for his charms and cursing Annie Cresta for taking away the one person left who cares about me.

Shame burns in my cheeks. Annie doesn't deserve to be blamed, how could she have known that her sweet innocence would trap his heart? She had him wrapped around her littler finger, without even trying.

Finnick does not deserve blame either, only I'm too stubborn to admit it. When I first befriended him, I was wary and a bit harsh. But he understood me, saw past the snarky comments and became a true friend.

For the most part our relationship has been purely platonic. There have only been those few and far between moments. A hand clasping mine, squeezing it in comfort. A night slept in the same bed, to keep back the dreadful nightmares. A kiss, lingering on my lips in the dead of night, when he thought sleep had me too tight in its grip to notice.

It took me too long, far too long, to read the signs; to notice that I had fallen for him. I didn't realize until I saw how he freaked when the jabberjays went on Annie's scream mode. And I noticed it bothered me. How he loved her that much. I couldn't help but wonder how he would react if it were _my_screams.

And I knew I wouldn't stand a chance to her. My nasty, biting attitude could not hold a match to her sweet-as-pie innocence. But I couldn't help myself. I couldn't stop loving him.

And now I'm paying for it. I swallow the bittersweet taste of envy, trying to rid myself of it. I should be happy for Finnick, glad that my friend has finally found the love he deserves from a girl who deserves him.

I do not deserve him. I'm cold hearted and selfish, it would be tough for anyone to love me. Besides, I only ever push away the people who try to become my friends.

I like to think that in world without Crazy Annie, maybe I'd stand a chance. Before he mentored her I saw shadows of things between us, but she was so frail and beautiful. I am the farthest thing from either of these.

I break my gaze and turn towards Katniss Everdeen who's standing beside me, clapping while people begin to dance. She has a smile on her face and I can already tell she's a better person than I am. Genuinely happy for her friends. Maybe that's why I hate her a little.  
I decide she's not so bad and resolve to give her some credit. Bearing the weight of being the Mockingjay cannot be easy.

I pinch her elbow to grab her attention. She looks at me and I give her my signature scowl. I mutter "Are you going to miss the chance to let Snow see you dancing?"

She finds her little sister in the crowd, I believe her name is Prim, and they start dancing joyfully along with several other guests.

I stand back and watch, the scowl slipping off my lips. I try to be happy, for his sake, but I can't find it in me. Instead I push into the depths of the crowd, out of sight, because I know my pain will only cause him unhappiness. I slink out of room quietly, getting far away from the party.

I don't know where I'm going really; I just know I can't stand it any longer. I have to get away, find some place safe.

Where those sea green eyes can't reach me.

**Hi! I've never written for the Hunger Games before, or tried to conquer a voice of a character as complicated as Johanna is, so I hope I've done alright. I really always thought Johanna and Finnick belonged together, from the moment they first interacted in Catching Fire. I don't dislike Annie, but I feel that Johanna helps bring out his more childish and spontaneous side, which I always liked. Please review on things you liked, didn't like, or what I could improve on. I checked this over many times before I published it, so I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors.**

**-Theatregirl7**


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